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About Deviant JuliaFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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As I step onto the scale I hold my breath
And pray for small numbers
I look as the nurse fiddles with the machine then says:
"175 pounds, at risk category"
I didn't think it was quite that bad
I knew that I had gained weight
But to be 175 pounds was shocking
I went home and for a while thought
I thought I would start running
I thought I would start eating right
That lasted about a week
People may say that I'm more than that number on the scale
That beauty comes in all shaped and sizes
Don't believe what you see in that magazine, it's not real
But when the body beautiful lives right down the hall
And everyday you are confronted with what you are not
It's hard
Somehow I'm nothing compared to them
No matter how hard I try
They are better
I am competing in a losing game
Where the lowest score wins
And every pound I gain puts me at a higher score
I can't seem to win
But they easily excel, never gaining a single pound or point
In a game they don't even know they're playing
They are the c
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 0 0
They say all girls dream of their first time
But for me that dream turned quickly into a nightmare
With the sound of a zipper as loud as a gunshot
I said no, you heard yes
Your ears went deaf to my pleading cries
Didn't hear me beg you
My weeping turned to silence
You did what you wanted
I said no, you said I meant yes
Said that I wanted it
Wanted to be pushed down to the rough concrete ground
To let go of my innocence surrounded by dirt and trash
In a dark ally in the dead of the night
I wanted to be left there, cloths ripped, body bloody
Having lived though your attack
We need to stop telling women not to get raped,
and start telling men not to rape
The world is on your side
Asking, what I was wearing, how much I drank
It doesn't matter that I didn't want it
I must have sent signs
That made you think it was ok
I said no, you heard yes
No means yes, yes means yes
There is no way to tell you no for your ears
Are deaf to the word
I said no
But how could you think it was ok, as I was scr
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 3 6
death WIP
It's a peculiar thing
Someone being there one moment, then the next gone
No light in their eyes no breath in their lungs
Life suddenly gone from their bodies
Till it's just a shell, no longer harboring a person
But how fast does life go, does it just blink out
As quickly as you turn off a light
Or does it seep slowly out
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 0 0
fire WIP
Don't play with fire
Cause sometimes it burns
Deceptive lights
Masquerading as warmth and safety
But the dancing flames lure in their victims
Looking for solstice in the red white heat
Stay calm and keep away
Become too confident and find yourself knocked back
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 0 0
All alone
In house filled with people
All alone when surrounded by family
Little sisters are no help
Harboring a resentment to the "favorite"
Hating me because our parents go easier on me
Only because they don't notice me
All the attention goes to them
Big sister had to leave
Gone to get her higher education
Gotta live the good life
Make mom and dad proud
Leaves me alone
Alone in this big house full of people
Waiting for my turn to pack up and leave
Never look back
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 1 0
Pop a pill, end the madness
End the rollercoaster that I'm on
With the amazing highs only to be fallowed by the crash and burn of the lows
They say that this pill will level me
Will end the plummeting lows that suck me into a black hole of depression
But what if without the lows I can't get the highs?
What if this pill this medication causes me to feel the only thing worse then the lows
makes me feel apathetic?
And what if the pill does nothing, for what they tell me it can do seems like a lot of hope and trust to place in a small pill
And after all they say that drugs are bad, so what makes this one good?
What makes this one any better then other drugs, why do they think this pill can "cure" me?
As if I'm broken and the only thing needed to fix me is a small little pill?
But I'll take the leap and try, cause I can't survive on this rollercoaster.
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 0 0
Family- a group of people living together, who can depend on each other and form a bond
Well this "family" is a pathetic excuse, a joke!
We live together yes, but depend on each other, or form a bond? Yeah right!
This house that we pretend is a home, is just a stage where we perform our show
Acting the parts that we were assigned, the perfect family, that's our role
But all it is, is a masquerade with too many cracks  and our acting isn't nearly good enough to cover them
Parents who consume in a week enough beers to fill three recycling bins!
And when friends see I have to explain them away, "they're not alcoholics!"
LIES!!! And I know it to, know that every night they drink and every night they will drink
Watch as they get one more beer, "this will be the last one"
Even more lies, yet these ones are told by adults, the people who are taking care of us, not by children defending they're parents!
A mother who threatens to leave
Who, when slightly drunk, will run out to
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 0 0
Angel by twilighters-julia Angel :icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 0 1
Prumano Secret Santa
"AHHHHH! Why is this so hard?" It was Gilberts birthday today and Lovino wanted to do something special for the albino. They had been going out for six months now and it was the first time that Lovino had ever gotten him a present. Currently he was at the mall trying to find him the perfect present.
"Damn it! Why does that bastard have to be so fucking hard to shop for! Why can't he be as easy as Feli or Antonio?" It was the eighth store he's entered and he still couldn't find something for Gilbert.  He decides that it was time to go home, and he would figure something out once he was there.
On the car ride home from the mall he did some thinking, about Gilbert and what he could possibly want for his birthday. Damn, what could he possibly want?!?! If I was as good at painting as Feli I could make him a picture, but I'm not so that won't work, well there's always that thing... When Lovino arrived at home he knew what he was going to do, and he gathered the necessary materials.
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 33 651
Merry christmas
Dell saw her walking up to him, and he had to struggle not to break out into a wide grin; his jaw almost dropped when she sat down next to him on the bench, which could have been very bad since he was currently smoking a cigarette. She had her cell phone out, as always, the blond girl couldn't seem to go a minute without texting someone on that phone of hers. He needed to tell her how he felt but he couldn't get the words out of his mouth, he began to feel depressed when suddenly an idea struck him. He grabbed for his own cell phone and began to type his message, when he was finished he looked over it and slowly pushed the send button. He could see the annoyance on her face when she saw who the test was from, "Dell why are you testing me when you're sitting right next to me?!". But after she rolled her eyes and read the message the look on her face changed.  He had written I love you Neru and he could tell by the look on her face that she felt the same. Oh Dell that's so roma
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 3 47
My love, the wonder of my world
Your beauty so obvious to all but yourself
Hair as black as ebony, rose-stained cheeks
Laughing with me at the smallest things
Seeing your smile is the highlight of my day
I long to be held by you, to be in the safe comfort of your arms
The people watch, the people stare, a love like ours is not understood
People stupid and ignorant, mean and nasty
They hate
Why? What is wrong with our love?
Our love, which is a pure, and untouched as a blanket of snow
But just like the snow, which is so pure, people long to destroy the pureness with the ugly stamp of their feet
But we will last, our love will grow
We are strong
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 1 14
Everyday a new one comes
A beautiful new addition to my collection
A lovely red flowing out to greet me, bringing me my gift
Captivating, each one different, yet the same
The gift comes with a price, the price of pain
But the pain brings a comfort
An escape, all worries disappear in an instant, everything is focused on the pain
My gift, the most beautiful gift, my collection that I wear on my arms
The collection that's only for me
It's beautiful
:icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 1 2
GERD by twilighters-julia GERD :icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 1 43 The Captains by twilighters-julia The Captains :icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 3 19 Relaxation by twilighters-julia Relaxation :icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 1 0 Innocence by twilighters-julia Innocence :icontwilighters-julia:twilighters-julia 1 0


Mature content
The Yaoi Anime Drinking Game [Revised] :icontheyaoicritic:TheYaoiCritic 20 11
HAKUNA MATATA!! by chacckco HAKUNA MATATA!! :iconchacckco:chacckco 29,678 2,280 Angry Boyfriends by Arkham-Insanity
Mature content
Angry Boyfriends :iconarkham-insanity:Arkham-Insanity 567 50
Here, Kitty Kitty... by HellishChaos
Mature content
Here, Kitty Kitty... :iconhellishchaos:HellishChaos 21 3
Kassim x Alibaba - fever by RuRinify Kassim x Alibaba - fever :iconrurinify:RuRinify 113 71 At the Galloping Gala (Humanized) by GreyRadian At the Galloping Gala (Humanized) :icongreyradian:GreyRadian 7,121 775 HnKnA - Wonderland by phab-jams HnKnA - Wonderland :iconphab-jams:phab-jams 68 12 Give me :3 by naroooo Give me :3 :iconnaroooo:naroooo 16 5 [AoKa] On The Bed I Want You by megumonster [AoKa] On The Bed I Want You :iconmegumonster:megumonster 477 92 Heaven help her... by EthanNakamuraFan Heaven help her... :iconethannakamurafan:EthanNakamuraFan 52 8 HnKnA Motivational :: Carrying Alice by Xsign-of-fireX HnKnA Motivational :: Carrying Alice :iconxsign-of-firex:Xsign-of-fireX 247 99 DA Frontgirls as Guys by Eye-X-catcher DA Frontgirls as Guys :iconeye-x-catcher:Eye-X-catcher 40 20 The Wolf Peter by humon The Wolf Peter :iconhumon:humon 2,828 134 One day, I promise by Mikeinel One day, I promise :iconmikeinel:Mikeinel 8,687 334



United States
I'm a member of :iconhetalia:~

Current Residence: chaple hill, North Carolina
Favourite genre of music: all!
Favourite cartoon character: lithuania, russia, prussia, france, romano, robin, beast boy,
Personal Quote: "fate is a thief"
So twice in that last week has a guy that I don't know that well and has a girlfriend has chatted me up on facebook and asked me for my number and both times I have given my number, I'm fairly certain I would give my number to anyone, I almost feel like it would be rude not to give someone my number which is a bad habit and this whole entry has been one long comma splice.
  • Listening to: Kiss me Kill me
  • Reading: Celebrity in Death
  • Watching: LIFE
  • Drinking: Pink Lemonaid


Add a Comment:
HellishChaos Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the :+fav: ^^
naroooo Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav! *3*
Yuki-Almasy Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Student General Artist
Thank you so so much for the :+fav:!!!:heart:
Im really happy that you like it!!!:w00t::heart:
Croix-de-Trefle Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank's for the fav of: Control Me, Content You
Bonds-webComic Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Cain and Abel : Thanks for the Llama!

Abel : If you have the time you can drop an eye over our comic if you haven't already <smiles wide>
SutoopU Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the :+fav: :heart: :iconneko-greeceplz:
J-e-i Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012
Ey, thanks for the fav :3
AntimonyAngel Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012  Professional General Artist
Thank u for faving!!!!! xDDD
TyrantKitty Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2011  Student Writer
Hey! Hey! I keep forgetting to ask you, but you listen to any nico singers?! My host sister was like obsessed with them, and she got me hooked on them, so now I've been listening to them nonstop. Anyway, real people covering Vocaloid seems kind of... redundant, but whatever. It's awesome. *_*

If it turns out that I'd already asked you this, and I just totally forgot, then sorry. Herpaderp.
twilighters-julia Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2011
haha, you hadn't asked me that, and no i don't really listen to nico singers that much, though there is this one imitation black sung by a couple of nico singers that i really liked.
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