175
As I step onto the scale I hold my breath
And pray for small numbers
I look as the nurse fiddles with the machine then says:
"175 pounds, at risk category"
I didn't think it was quite that bad
I knew that I had gained weight
But to be 175 pounds was shocking
I went home and for a while thought
I thought I would start running
I thought I would start eating right
That lasted about a week
People may say that I'm more than that number on the scale
That beauty comes in all shaped and sizes
Don't believe what you see in that magazine, it's not real
But when the body beautiful lives right down the hall
And everyday you are confro
They say all girls dream of their first time
But for me that dream turned quickly into a nightmare
With the sound of a zipper as loud as a gunshot
I said no, you heard yes
Your ears went deaf to my pleading cries
Didn't hear me beg you
My weeping turned to silence
You did what you wanted
I said no, you said I meant yes
Said that I wanted it
Wanted to be pushed down to the rough concrete ground
To let go of my innocence surrounded by dirt and trash
In a dark ally in the dead of the night
I wanted to be left there, cloths ripped, body bloody
Having lived though your attack
We need to stop telling women not to get raped,
and sta
Death
It's a peculiar thing
Someone being there one moment, then the next gone
No light in their eyes no breath in their lungs
Life suddenly gone from their bodies
Till it's just a shell, no longer harboring a person
But how fast does life go, does it just blink out
As quickly as you turn off a light
Or does it seep slowly out
Don't play with fire
Cause sometimes it burns
Deceptive lights
Masquerading as warmth and safety
But the dancing flames lure in their victims
Looking for solstice in the red white heat
Stay calm and keep away
Become too confident and find yourself knocked back
All alone
In house filled with people
All alone when surrounded by family
Little sisters are no help
Harboring a resentment to the "favorite"
Hating me because our parents go easier on me
Only because they don't notice me
All the attention goes to them
Big sister had to leave
Gone to get her higher education
Gotta live the good life
Make mom and dad proud
Leaves me alone
Alone in this big house full of people
Waiting for my turn to pack up and leave
Never look back
Pop a pill, end the madness
End the rollercoaster that I'm on
With the amazing highs only to be fallowed by the crash and burn of the lows
They say that this pill will level me
Will end the plummeting lows that suck me into a black hole of depression
But what if without the lows I can't get the highs?
What if this pill this medication causes me to feel the only thing worse then the lows
makes me feel apathetic?
And what if the pill does nothing, for what they tell me it can do seems like a lot of hope and trust to place in a small pill
And after all they say that drugs are bad, so what makes this one good?
What makes this one any be
Family
Family- a group of people living together, who can depend on each other and form a bond
Well this "family" is a pathetic excuse, a joke!
We live together yes, but depend on each other, or form a bond? Yeah right!
This house that we pretend is a home, is just a stage where we perform our show
Acting the parts that we were assigned, the perfect family, that's our role
But all it is, is a masquerade with too many cracks and our acting isn't nearly good enough to cover them
Parents who consume in a week enough beers to fill three recycling bins!
And when friends see I have to explain them away, "they're not alcoholics!"
Prumano Secret Santa by twilighters-julia, literature
Literature
Prumano Secret Santa
"AHHHHH! Why is this so hard?" It was Gilberts birthday today and Lovino wanted to do something special for the albino. They had been going out for six months now and it was the first time that Lovino had ever gotten him a present. Currently he was at the mall trying to find him the perfect present.
"Damn it! Why does that bastard have to be so fucking hard to shop for! Why can't he be as easy as Feli or Antonio?" It was the eighth store he's entered and he still couldn't find something for Gilbert. He decides that it was time to go home, and he would figure something out once he was there.
On the car ride home from the mall h
Dell saw her walking up to him, and he had to struggle not to break out into a wide grin; his jaw almost dropped when she sat down next to him on the bench, which could have been very bad since he was currently smoking a cigarette. She had her cell phone out, as always, the blond girl couldn't seem to go a minute without texting someone on that phone of hers. He needed to tell her how he felt but he couldn't get the words out of his mouth, he began to feel depressed when suddenly an idea struck him. He grabbed for his own cell phone and began to type his message, when he was finished he looked over it and slowly pushed the send button. He co
175
As I step onto the scale I hold my breath
And pray for small numbers
I look as the nurse fiddles with the machine then says:
"175 pounds, at risk category"
I didn't think it was quite that bad
I knew that I had gained weight
But to be 175 pounds was shocking
I went home and for a while thought
I thought I would start running
I thought I would start eating right
That lasted about a week
People may say that I'm more than that number on the scale
That beauty comes in all shaped and sizes
Don't believe what you see in that magazine, it's not real
But when the body beautiful lives right down the hall
And everyday you are confro
They say all girls dream of their first time
But for me that dream turned quickly into a nightmare
With the sound of a zipper as loud as a gunshot
I said no, you heard yes
Your ears went deaf to my pleading cries
Didn't hear me beg you
My weeping turned to silence
You did what you wanted
I said no, you said I meant yes
Said that I wanted it
Wanted to be pushed down to the rough concrete ground
To let go of my innocence surrounded by dirt and trash
In a dark ally in the dead of the night
I wanted to be left there, cloths ripped, body bloody
Having lived though your attack
We need to stop telling women not to get raped,
and sta
Death
It's a peculiar thing
Someone being there one moment, then the next gone
No light in their eyes no breath in their lungs
Life suddenly gone from their bodies
Till it's just a shell, no longer harboring a person
But how fast does life go, does it just blink out
As quickly as you turn off a light
Or does it seep slowly out
Don't play with fire
Cause sometimes it burns
Deceptive lights
Masquerading as warmth and safety
But the dancing flames lure in their victims
Looking for solstice in the red white heat
Stay calm and keep away
Become too confident and find yourself knocked back
All alone
In house filled with people
All alone when surrounded by family
Little sisters are no help
Harboring a resentment to the "favorite"
Hating me because our parents go easier on me
Only because they don't notice me
All the attention goes to them
Big sister had to leave
Gone to get her higher education
Gotta live the good life
Make mom and dad proud
Leaves me alone
Alone in this big house full of people
Waiting for my turn to pack up and leave
Never look back
Pop a pill, end the madness
End the rollercoaster that I'm on
With the amazing highs only to be fallowed by the crash and burn of the lows
They say that this pill will level me
Will end the plummeting lows that suck me into a black hole of depression
But what if without the lows I can't get the highs?
What if this pill this medication causes me to feel the only thing worse then the lows
makes me feel apathetic?
And what if the pill does nothing, for what they tell me it can do seems like a lot of hope and trust to place in a small pill
And after all they say that drugs are bad, so what makes this one good?
What makes this one any be
Family
Family- a group of people living together, who can depend on each other and form a bond
Well this "family" is a pathetic excuse, a joke!
We live together yes, but depend on each other, or form a bond? Yeah right!
This house that we pretend is a home, is just a stage where we perform our show
Acting the parts that we were assigned, the perfect family, that's our role
But all it is, is a masquerade with too many cracks and our acting isn't nearly good enough to cover them
Parents who consume in a week enough beers to fill three recycling bins!
And when friends see I have to explain them away, "they're not alcoholics!"
Prumano Secret Santa by twilighters-julia, literature
Literature
Prumano Secret Santa
"AHHHHH! Why is this so hard?" It was Gilberts birthday today and Lovino wanted to do something special for the albino. They had been going out for six months now and it was the first time that Lovino had ever gotten him a present. Currently he was at the mall trying to find him the perfect present.
"Damn it! Why does that bastard have to be so fucking hard to shop for! Why can't he be as easy as Feli or Antonio?" It was the eighth store he's entered and he still couldn't find something for Gilbert. He decides that it was time to go home, and he would figure something out once he was there.
On the car ride home from the mall h
Dell saw her walking up to him, and he had to struggle not to break out into a wide grin; his jaw almost dropped when she sat down next to him on the bench, which could have been very bad since he was currently smoking a cigarette. She had her cell phone out, as always, the blond girl couldn't seem to go a minute without texting someone on that phone of hers. He needed to tell her how he felt but he couldn't get the words out of his mouth, he began to feel depressed when suddenly an idea struck him. He grabbed for his own cell phone and began to type his message, when he was finished he looked over it and slowly pushed the send button. He co
Current Residence: chaple hill, North Carolina Favourite genre of music: all! Favourite cartoon character: lithuania, russia, prussia, france, romano, robin, beast boy, Personal Quote: "fate is a thief"
So twice in that last week has a guy that I don't know that well and has a girlfriend has chatted me up on facebook and asked me for my number and both times I have given my number, I'm fairly certain I would give my number to anyone, I almost feel like it would be rude not to give someone my number which is a bad habit and this whole entry has been one long comma splice.
[x] Talked back to a teacher.
[ ]Been kicked out of a class.
[x] Worn your pajamas to school.
[x] Had your tooth fall out during school.
[ ] Gotten yourself lost in your school.
[x] Broken the dress code in your school.
[x] Completely and utterly failed a test.
[ ] Left your class without asking anybody.
[ ] Missed a whole week of school for something stupid.
[x] Thrown up your lunch in school
HOME LIFE CONFESSIONS
[x] Argue with your parent[s] a lot.
[ ] Argue with your brother[s] a lot.
[x] Argue with your sister[s] a lot.
[ ] Do your own laundry.
[x] Cook dinner once in a while.
[ ] Are loud and obnoxious at home.
[
so i went to otakon again this year, and it was AMAZING, just like last year!!! I went as panda hero gumi for both friday and saturday.
Friday: so my friend and i got there at like 8 and while we were waiting in line a reporter comes up and starts asking us about the con and who we were cosplaying as and why we did this ect. so we were on the news and that was pretty cool. we got inside around 10, which was much better then last year when i got inside around 11:30, and once we were in there we sat around for a while and hung out with some people that we met, I was introduced to homestuck which is a webcomic that i'm considering reading, don